Crazy Americans

It's a common Irish thought when a herd of young American's are seen, most likely imitating their accent and giggling, entering a bar and ordering a round of Guinness (apparently it's not as popular here as we thought...rookie mistake), standing in the middle of their tiny sidewalks circling a large tourist map while pointing in random directions or expecting free refills on sodas at a restaurant (nothing is free on the euro). Crazy Americans, always thinking they're the center of the universe (wait... they're joking though right... we are?) and always acting like they are entitled to things (free refills are not much to ask for ok).

If you think that Irish people don't watch Wife Swap and the Hills (and love it) or listen to Jay-Z, Eminem and U2 then you are so wrong. It's no wonder most foreigners tend to think American Girls are "easy" as they call it... we're being represented by Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, the Playboy Bunnies and Girls Gone Wild (I mean all superb people... but not quite the norm). An Irish man we met the other day named John said to me "Spring break! Now what the hell is that about?"....WHERE do I even start with that! These are the intellectual (also big words like intellectual are frowned upon here... I like this... ) things that people are watching on MTV about us and dying to know more about. Little do they know that it is all a cover and we are normally really like this:

They have McDonalds, Burger Kings, and even the most pathetic excuse for fast food, KFC. If they didn't have Subway then I would be mad that our food was being represented poorly (I'm not gonna lie, I'm looking forward to seeing what's on that 1 Euro menu at McDonalds... I here great things about it). They also have American Apparel, H&M and Aldi (that small random grocery store that I am now so happy exists because its cheap... for here at least). Have I mentioned that this city is ridiculously expensive? Anyways, last night a group of us were hanging out with a few Irish people our age and offered Miller Light's... what is that about?! We come over here trying to fit in by ordering Guinness, Beamish, anything as long as it's Irish. Little did we know they're drinking Budweiser, Miller Light, even Smirnoff. Well at least it wasn't Natti Light I guess...

My Top 3 Moments of Stupidity (so far):

1. WIPING OUT hard core on the sidewalk along the main road with like 5 brand new friends witnessing the whole thing (not to mention strangers on the street who got a good kick out of it) on our way home the other night... andddd I might as well not lie and tell you that was my second fall of the day. Everyone keeps asking me if I've been abused judging from the 4 large ugly bruises on my left arm. Yes, abused by their lack of street salt.

2. After about 5 solid minutes in the Customer Service line at the grocery store my roommate and I realized we were not in fact in the check out line. Obviously we were laughed at, then I proceeded to get in line for self check out (because I thought that it was all they had), taking maybe 10 minutes to check out 6 items. I was most likely getting a lot of dirty Irish looks from the 5 people waiting in my line but I couldn't look at them because I was so embarrassed.

3. Stepping on what I thought was an escalator... little did I know it was going to all flatten out into practically a 45 degree slope and scare the crap out of me. I thought I was going to fall, but used my instinct defensive lacrosse skills (judy schmidt would be sooo proud) and bent my knees, thankfully keeping my balance.

There are many more where those came from... and I'm sure this won't be the end of it.